It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
