One girl and one boy is just not enough.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
