ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
