Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
