If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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