If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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