I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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