Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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