Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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