I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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