wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
