i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
