He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You've changed since you got that strap on
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
