Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
