What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i was born a porn star she said
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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