Who wears a wallet chain?!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
