I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
