why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
