Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
