I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
