whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
