I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
