its not stalking. its research.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
