just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Couch. On fire.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
