Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Couch. On fire.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
