i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
