shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
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