soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
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