bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
