That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
