If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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