you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
