No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
