dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
