I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
