is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
