Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
