She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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