Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
