hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
