I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
