We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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