You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
