i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
