I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
