just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
