I need to stop coming to work sober
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
