Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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