K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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