Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's shark week go big or go home
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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