On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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