I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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