hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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