Where did you get a picture of my penis
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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